WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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