I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
