Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
