Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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