I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I should be sponsored by Trojan
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
