I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
