You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
