we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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