Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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