i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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