Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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