im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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