i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
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And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
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Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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