The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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