if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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