i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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