physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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