im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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