I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize