She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
