alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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