he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
