im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
