Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
