i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
