I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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