the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
