I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
