Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
