She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
