ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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