seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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