She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
