Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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