you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
