Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
