oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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