We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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