But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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