she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
