So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
