the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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