The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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