Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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