I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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