She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
