Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
