it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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