you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
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This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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