At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Randomize
