Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
