and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
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The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
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I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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