Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
