her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
