i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
