I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
