I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
