HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I could make wine with my vomit
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
