I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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