i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
