Where did you get a picture of my penis
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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