everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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