Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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