I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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