I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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