Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
