So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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