ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
