Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
